I know I am the most selfish person to say this, but at this moment, for my birthday, I would really want these as my resolutions::::

[1] I want to talk to my sister normally, like the old days.
[2] I want to treat my younger sister nicely, I will control my patience.
[3] I know Dad thinks I'm a spoiled child, but I promise I will take care of you.
[4] Since the beginning, Mom let me chase my dreams, choose whatever course I like, and constantly support my education. Mom, I promise to take care of you too.

I don't know weather I should continue in Astronomy or not. Another Professor offered me a place in Material Science Lab for Masters. If I chosed Mat Sc, then New Zealand is no more. I don't know weather I should trust my heart or not. Both are equally good. But the fact::astronomy in Malaysia is not expanding. Reality:::Astronomy is not applicable in Malaysia.

But I don't regret doing my thesis in Astronomy Lab. I now, gained the experience. But I know, moving into Mat Sc, I will miss Astro. It's funny because I scored A for Mat Sc subject and scored B+ for Astonomy subject.

Is this some kind of signs??Maybe I "miss-look" the signs?? Before doing my thesis there are 3 offers" two from Mat Sc Lab and 1 from Astro Lab. Maybe I followed my heart too much and then I deviated away from my original path?

Now I wonder and doubt. Is this what I really want in my life? What I really want? What I really really want?

I'm still searching. Allah, give me light please. I need guidance.