So yeah 2 posts for one day? This is rare but hey-this is mine bahahahaha

So let's start over~ Today I came late to lab.. about 1040am. Because yesterday me n fatin went back home from lab at 1030pm or something and we both know we wont arrive early the next morning.

Yeah my samples sucks. My samples smells. Yeah I knew it. But what can I do ladies and gentlemens? This things are out of my control. And of course I need the oven,baby? Where should I put my samples if not in the oven? I'm sorry but please bear with my samples for about...another 2 years hahahahahha

I hate chemicals. seriously. When I'm in matriculation, I had this accidents with one of the acids..and from that moment I swore never gonna touch chemicals again..and now it's funneh cuz i need to touch them again. and to be honest, I am very very clumsy.

and then I went for lunch with nora..the foods in 12th college are awesoomeee. and cheap too. so we hang out in her room and at about 2pm or something it's raining..and we cant go back to the lab.,,hahaha actually oh come on..it's friday, friday afternooonnn---> sleep! so I arrived at lab about 340pm, pick up my things and went to the surau.

Lab is okay..I..hmm.... everything moves so fast. And apparatus are limited. and..ahhh what I'm thinking about. So this one offer came. From NZ. but as i said before, need to think 1st. and need to solat istikharah 1st. everything must think.

and weekly report is killing meh. I hate this. I'm suck at this. And I cant smile sincerely. K fine this is getting ridiculous. Oh yeah I need to go jamming! And gig too!

k c ya!

Blog ini sudah uzur..words words words with no pic. Lately, perasaan bercampur-baur mcm cocktail susu di gerai cincau 12th college *ok sekarang sgt lapar*

Well dah move out into new house. So far so good. I don't want to create problems anymore..hopefully.

And I gain back my peace. Inner peace. :)

And I got an offer. But I want to think about it first before I decide everything.

And...what else? I want to go to spca again..but I can't find any free time..

And...i can't write anymore..

c ya

I am so depressed..
Dear God, please help me control my anger..
No, I'm not going to utter the F word to them.
They are just part of my storyline.

Dear God, give me strength.
I'll endure this calmly.
I'll endure this faithfully.

I will be patience.
I will be patience.
Amin.

Sgt terharu... Mira read my blog and called me yesterday to check how I'm doing..Thank you friend...

Right now I am very exhausted..I'm doing 2 jobs at one time..
RA from 930am - 5 or 530pm and then continue my second job from 6pm - 930 pm..
My body ached..and I need to endure this cuz I want my body to get used to it..
My energy is drained during the lab hours and goodlord, the second job is much relaxing now..

Yosh..work work work study study study (^^)/

Next resolution: Come early to lab!\

p/s: I'm so effing exhausted..c ya

I am moving out to a new house~
New environment.
New people.

New HOPE

Hopefully. :D

So far... Do I have any regrets?

Regrets?

There is one thing… when I heard Professor Burhanuddin had a stroke and in coma, I was so disappointed in myself… why can’t I even say “Thank You” to him for giving me A- in Microprocessor?

We visited him in the hospital and we wrote a “Get well soon!” note and pasted it on the counter table so that he can see it when he woke up. But he didn’t. I remembered that we planned to do “solat hajat” the next morning and I was busy preparing the foods for the jemaah but we didn’t. We heard the news about his death before we perform the prayer. And I was wearing a t-shirt, not prepared for that kind of news. The lecturers and all the other students went to his house to give their last respects. There were a lot of people. Lots of them are crying too. And until now, I have this kind of regret that I didn’t thank him much when he is still alive.

Now my life.

The next big question is, what’s next?

I found another path. Another lecturer. Another field. Another lab. Another equipments.

Another people.

Will I fit in?

Who knows? Only time will tell.

Lately, I realized I am getting too self-centred. And I can’t understand people around me no more. Friends: he or she. Family: mom, dad and sis. I find that I’m struggling to understand people. I think the problem lies in me. I’m struggling to understand what people want from me and I can’t catch up… And suddenly I feel burdened by all the wants, the hopes, the expectations. I find myself being sooooo effing ignorance. I have no intention to argue. I have no intention to talk to you. I have no intention to be around you. I don’t mind waiting for you coz while waiting, I keep no anger. I don’t feel a thing. You want that thing? Yeah take it. I don’t want to argue with you. Even though you know I need that. Yeah, take it. As long as we don’t argue.

And by the way, you can talk about me with them as much as you want. I don’t mind. Really. I mean it. It is impossible to shut people’s mouth and I don’t see the benefit of it. So, I don’t really mind. And please tell me what exactly you want from me? Coz I can’t catch up. I’m a bit slow in this and please please please tell me. I’ll do whatever I can.

I still have the dreams to travel across continents. Will I be able to achieve my dreams?

Fate.

Works in mysterious ways.

Maybe before this you see me this way and maybe now I’m not.

Maybe before this I see you this way and maybe now you’re not.

We all are changing.

The climate’s changing.

The earth’s changing.

As long as the sun is shining, why don’t we just live life?

Now my age is 23. I would like to look at this journal again when I am 50. If I can make it.

Hari ini pagi2 sudah pergi KWSP mau mintak print sijil ahli. Senang saja kalau nk dilayan dgn cepat dan mesra. Buat bodoh-bodoh alang yg tak tahu menahu apa2 then dia akan mesra, cepat dan betul. Taktik ini juga berkesan kalo nk pergi tanya arah, tanya lecturer soklan pekse apa kuar dan sebagainya. Especially department kerajaan yg kita tau mmg tension tiap tiap hara seperti JPA. Kalau nk tnya apa2 kat staff buat bodoh-bodoh yang amat. InsyaAllah diaorang akan tolong.

So after print KWSP, ic, buku bank then walla! borang RA siap. So now hopefully boleh dapat gaji bulan ni. Amin.

And tadi try buat chitosan films...and badan naik merah and gatal2. alergik?
Just chitosan and acetic acid..but gatal kat tangan dah naik. Hrmm?? tomorrow maybe nak try lagi and then we'll see if allergic or not.

So right now right now right now kena adapt dgn persekitaran lab yang baru..takda gambar nti upload. And quite sedih actually sbb senior yg sepatutnya ajar kitaorang MCM tak nak mengajar and yg ajar kitaorg yg mcm bersungguh adalah mostly not malays. To tell you the truth, they are lot friendly and willing to teach you how to operate an instrument compared to certain maleis.

And owh see ya later with pictures~

So welcome new day and I wanna face today bravely. Today is gonna be a great day.
I saw new students, they spread new hopes and spreading good atmosphere here~
Hello, strangers~

Catch you later~

Thursday Blues

I consider myself as...85% straight-forward person. And sometimes I don't have to say the words, the expression of my face will tell you what's on my mind. This could be anugerah Allah kasi . Muka yang boleh menyampaikan apa yg ada dlm fikiran atau minda~

So what am I talking about.. okay think about this--> "Matlamat tidak menghalalkan cara"
What do you think?
Hmm?

Well this sentence mmg memberi kesan mendalam dalam diri aku sbb....sbb... Sofwah penah tegur aku ttg ayat ini dan ia memberi kesan yg sgt mendalam.

Aku tak ingat mcmana ia berlaku tp yg aku ingat aku nk capai sesuatu dgn cara yg salah and Sofwah tegur aku dgn menerangkan ayat dia atas. and aku terdiam..
Yes aku terdiam. Sbb aku membelakangkan benda yg sgt2 penting dan dari situ aku sedar apa sofwah ckp itu betul. Untuk mencapai sesuatu aku kena pikir cara yg betul. Bukan dgn menyakitkan hati orang lain, bukan dgn menipu, bukan dgn menjatuhkan orang lain.

Sebenarnya aku rasa sgt bertuah ada sofwah sbg kawan yg mmg staright-forward menegur tindakan aku yg salah. and sekarang aku sedih plak tak belajar sesama lagi dgn sofwah.

And maaf kawan A kalau ko terasa hati aku menegur kau dgn menggunakan ayat di atas. aku betul2 mintak maaf. Tapi brp ramai orang yg sanggup berterus-terang? brp ramai orang yg sanggup ckp? maaf maaf dan maaf. mungkin cara aku tak berhemah spt sofwah jadi maaf kalo kau terasa.

but the main thing is, I don't want you to repeat my mistakes.

Sorry.

Hormones plays important part in our body

Long time no write blog so here it goes~

today is the 3rd day, me working here as a Research Assistant in Low Dimensional Material Science Lab *is this correct??* oh well the 1st and the 2nd day were no good actually but I think it's getting better. So although I am a research assistant but I'm working towards my Masters. So what I do here is basically my research. so hopefully within a few months I'll get some results and register and then starts writing. *ok this is boring haha*

I totally lost myself few weeks back so I'm trying to find myself back. So like my tittle of this entry, I need more positive hormonesss bahahahahhaahahha cyaaa